I am going to tell you two stories:
Its 6:00 pm and dinner has just been served. My husband is not home, yet. In fact, he very rarely eats dinner with the family on a week night. He just can’t seem to leave the office in time to make the 6:00 dinner. When he arrives home, he has just enough time to grab some supplies for his meeting that night and is off again, with barely a hello and goodbye to me and the kids. I do the dishes, clean up and get the kids in the bath by myself – again. It seems that after work, church and the kids there is no time left for me in my husband’s schedule.
Its 7:30 am and the household is in full get ready mode. I am upstairs getting ready for work and my husband is downstairs emptying the dishwasher and making breakfast for the kids. He has already dressed the four year old and packed his lunch for pre-school. I come downstairs and see my husband helping our sixth grader with a last minute math problem. We hug and he reminds me how much he is looking forward to our date night this weekend.
Same husband, same day.
If you were to ask me about my day, I could tell you one of these stores and you might think, “ She has it rough” or “She has an amazing husband.” Frankly, it is the same with with ourselves. I can tell myself the type of story that makes me feel terrible or a story that makes me feel pretty amazing.
We do not have control over our spouse, their schedules, their beliefs, their actions, but we do have complete control over what we think about them and their schedules, beliefs and actions.
What story are you telling yourself about your spouse? I believe the quality of our relationship correlates to the quality of our thoughts about that relationship.