I went to the Secretary of State recently to renew my drivers license. The place was packed. There were hardly enough chairs. The lady at the desk who helped me said that a lot of people wait on average 4-5 hours.
It took me 8 minutes.
Yes, you read that right. Want to know my secret?
I used the online appointment booking tool. I showed up, they called my number, took my picture and sent me home.
It was that simple.
This appointment system is available to EVERYONE. I am not in a special pilot program, it is for anyone. I was fascinated that so many people still choose the old method of showing up and crossing your fingers that the lines won’t be too long. I wondered if they were afraid of trying something new. Or if they figured the old way worked before, so why change it?
It is so interesting how we cling to the familiar even when it does not serve us.
I couldn’t help but ask – where am I doing this? Where am I clinging to the familiar and having to wait in the proverbial line at the Secretary of State for half a day?
I realized I do this in repeating patterns of thought and behavior that do not serve me with my husband and our different faiths.
Maybe you have similar patterns of thought? Here are some of mine:
He won’t ever understand this.
I won’t even try to talk to him about this.
He is so stuck in his ways.
I do not even try to talk about certain things because I just assume they will play out like they have in the past. I give no credit for who both of us are becoming. It is like assuming a child will never walk because they haven’t yet. I place both of us in perpetual sameness.
There may be other thoughts available that will prove much more beneficial in my marriage and life. Thoughts like:
He is learning and so am I.
We will figure this out.
It is more interesting to change then to always stay the same.
Lucky for me I have tools (like the online appointment system) to help me recognize and redirect patterns of thought and behavior. It is called coaching and the primary coaching tool I use is called the Model. Life and your marriage doe not have to feel like the line at the Secretary of State, there is a fast track lane.
Email me if you want to learn more and see if coaching can help you and your marriage, especially if it is impacted by a faith transition.
I am glad to set up some time to chat and see if coaching is a good fit for you, the call is completely free and will take about an hour.
Talk to you soon,